The following is an excerpt on authenticity from Liz’s memoir published in 2020 called, Just Be: My Healing Journey to Embrace the Mess. It seems the times we are living in continue to challenge us on what we know to be ‘real’. Here is a reflection on someone seeking her own authentic truth.
A Happy Grown-Up – By Liz Kametz
I’m walking through my adult life feeling/thinking the same as I remember feeling when I was an adolescent. Does it mean that I grew up very fast, or am I missing something now? I walk around feeling like a fraud. Like I shouldn’t be here—that I should still be taken care of like a child. I’m having a problem being a happy grown-up, constantly wanting to prove to people that I’m ‘experienced’ and ‘know’ things. That I want to be heard, listened to, provide guidance and help/support for others.
Maybe it’s not the lack of my voice or being heard, and more the rub of being beaten down by those who are supposed to love me.
I remember the day, recently, that I went to my grandparents’ grave site. My Grammie embodied a woman with fierce strength in knowing herself. She was certain, smart, particular, calm, predictable, and kind. It wasn’t until near the end of her life that I learned about her as a woman and not just as a grandmother. I remember when I turned twenty-one, she had a smirk on her face, and said very quietly, “Oh boy, when I was your age…”.
She left her first husband, an alcoholic, with a new baby and very young. She worked driving materials to railroad workers through the woods before driving age in the 1920s. Her home had order and routine, which I gravitated towards, an always quiet calmness. My brother and I would be left there for overnights where we were treated with simple kindness and love.
I keep using the word ‘simple’ because that’s as easy as I can explain: no fuss, no need to worry that I wasn’t fitting in, or that I should make sure I act some particular way. I was allowed to Just Be. Maybe that’s why I connect with her spirit so often now. Many other family members seemed to cast expectations and fuss about me. It could be positive—my, how beautiful you are; look at those eyes! which I took as the need to smile and be thankful of the compliment. Or it could be, make sure you eat whatever they offer you. It would be rude otherwise, I was told, which I took as the need to shove my own needs/wants aside for others.
But with Grammie, she let me be; she just stayed by my side. If a woman born in 1913 knew how to live her authentic-self at a tumultuous time in our country’s history, I have hope for my own ability to do the same, with modern conveniences.
And the key to belonging, that she taught to me, is that sweet spot when we can love ourselves completely and be around others who let us be.
Affirmation: I am learning how to live my most authentic-self.
We are co-founders & authors of Just Be The Journey, sharing our wisdom of the heart. Cultivating authentic leadership in business, entrepreneurship, and life. Storyhealing(TM) is one of the many tools we’ve created to inspire a community of like-minded individuals going through similar experiences, seeking connection, healing, and growth. Find more authentically created products by searching Adrienne Gervais & Liz Kametz on Amazon.
